I believed myself to be my mind like 95% of the population.
The same mind that tells 1000 different stories. The same mind that changes sides in an instant.
I went through an identity crisis. I was anxious, confused, and deeply suffering.
I had no meaningful relationships. I didn’t know what I was passionate about and loved doing.
Because I didn’t know who I was. I didn’t have a solid ground from which to look at and experience life.
It was super tough and challenging to distinguish between things that I love doing and things that I just did to please others.
Back then I thought I was the only one experiencing this identity crisis. But now I know most of the population is suffering from this.
That’s why people don’t love their lives and do things that make them barely survive.
Finding a solid ground:
Later down on this deep journey of self-discovery, I realized: There’s always a listener no matter what the mind tells.
There’s always an experiencer no matter the experience, whether it’s thoughts, feelings, or emotions.
And the experiencer is always free looking from beyond no matter the experience.
The experiencer is your authentic self. Your solid ground from where you can build meaningful relationships, get clear on your passions and live experiences that makes your soul sing.
The best metaphor to make this land is, that your true self is the expansive blue sky and your identities, thoughts, and feelings are the dark clouds that pass by.
No matter how dark the clouds get, it won’t affect the blue sky – your true self.
Realizing this you free yourself from so much suffering and anxiety and enter the deep waters of inner peace.
What really is reality?
From common human perspective: people, animals, traffic, buildings and all other material things are real.
But from a more expanded perspective, they are not real because they come and go. They disintegrate and vanish into thin air.
People and animals die. Buildings get destroyed. So on and so forth.
According to ancient vedic scriptures and self-realized sages like Ramana Maharishi, The ultimate reality must remain real.
It means the ultimate reality will not change with the dance of time. It remains constant.
And the only thing that remains constant is awareness. The awareness of this life experience that exists beyond thoughts, feelings, and stories.
I will make it clear about your true self – Awareness in the coming sections.
What dreams can teach you?
Dreams look and feel so real. But it dissipates into thin air in an instant as you wake up from sleep.
You never question the reality of your dreams while you are sleeping.
What if your life on earth is just a dream? A dream that you wake up from when your body dies.
A question to ponder upon.
Ok now, let’s get practical and explore the existential question who am I?
Let’s start by looking at who you are not
Who you are not:
1. You are not your body
You think you are 5.5ft tall, 110 pounds and black.
But didn’t you exist when you were 3 feet tall as an 8-year-old kid? You did.
So if you are your body, then where are you located?
In your Arms? Legs? Head? You won’t have an answer for that.
Your body is constantly changing. Trillions of new cells are created every second. Trillions dying.
So your body is not you.
2. You are not your mind
You identify with your mind. You think you are the voice that constantly chatters inside your head.
This identification is the cause of all anxiety, limiting beliefs, and suffering.
But don’t you exist when your mind is quiet while sleeping or getting lost in your favourite activity? You do.
So you are not your mind.
3. You are not your feelings
You feel sadness, anger, fear, love and all kinds of feelings.
They come and go. They are not permanent.
But who is the one feeling them all?
4. You are not your social identities
You might identify yourself as your name. Your job title. Your religion.
But they are just roles you play and stories you live in society.
You might stop identifying yourself as a Christian tomorrow. You might quit your job.
These roles come and go. They don’t define who you are.
Now you clearly know all these labels you commonly define as you are not your real self.
Let’s dive in to explore your real self.
Real you – THE PURE AWARENESS
This is a 3-step simple practice to reconnect with your authentic self.
Step 1: Get silent
Find yourself in a silent undisturbed space.
Breathe consciously in and out through your nose. Feel the breath.
Deeply relax your body with every exhale.
Do it long until you feel relaxed.
Step 2: The prompt
Once you feel relaxed, ask yourself inside your head “Who am I?”.
Your mind will initially come up with all kinds of answers. Just listen and don’t believe them.
You can never find who you truly are with your mind. Because the real you exists beyond the mind.
Stay open.
Step 3: Shift your focus
Don’t focus on the question which is a thought in itself. Contemplate on the peaceful infinite space where the question “Who am I?” pops-up from.
Just relax and melt into that super quiet space. The pure awareness.
This loving deep presence is your true self where all your thoughts, feelings and emotions arise from.
Practice this exercise daily for at least 10 minutes. You will slowly reconnect with your true self and experience lifelong inner peace and fulfillment.
Asking and contemplating “Who am I?” will take you on a deep inner journey like never before.
Because you will realize, you cannot define yourself for the experiences you have here on earth.
You say “I’m Dorothy. I work at a coffee shop. I’m angry all the time.”
Who is the I pointing towards?, The I, the experiencer is the real you.
The one who silently witnesses and listens to this unfolding play called life.
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