My future looked hopeless and void during the final year of college.
I was deeply worried about what I would do after my studies.
Worst-case scenarios played out in my mind 24/7, like:
“I would be stuck in a draining job all my life.”
“I won’t be able to crack an interview.”
“I won’t ever find success.”
All these worries added fuel to the fire of my anxiety. I was so confused and desperate.
So I chronically looked online to find a way out, as I didn’t want to work a 9-5 ever again.
I even remember a time when I almost fell into a scam where a fake online marketing guru tried to sell me his $499 dollar course.
Luckily, my mom didn’t lend me that money, haha.
Finally, I had to go back home after graduating from college with just pure confusion.
After about 2 months of being home, I finally decided to find a solution and commit instead of chronically focusing on the problem and worrying.
I joined a 6-month marketing course. Got a 9-5 job and quit, did a ton of freelancing, and here I am now, building my online freedom business.
My decision-making skills became much better as I became mentally clear by practicing meditation over time.
Impending doom:
“Worrying is like paying debt you don’t owe”
– Mark Twain
If you worry chronically, you suffer from one big detrimental belief: “The world is against me”.
So you prepare yourself for the worst-case scenario by chronically rewinding the worst-case scenario inside your head, thinking that it will ease your suffering when the scenario happens.
In other words, you live in pain every day to prepare yourself for the big pain if it happens.
But the only thing it makes sure of is that you will feel and live out the disaster viscerally every day, whether the disaster physically happens or not. This is such a sad way to live.
And if the worst case finally manifests in your life, you try to justify it by saying, “Didn’t I tell you this is gonna happen?”
When the actual truth is that you attracted the disaster into your life by constantly thinking and worrying about the disaster. Because this reality is an attraction-based reality where you attract what you constantly think and feel into your life.
Worry makes you blindfolded to opportunities:
You worry because you believe at your core that you don’t deserve love and success. That you only deserve punishment.
You carry this belief from your childhood because you might be punished physically/verbally for doing things your way and not following your parent’s way.
So, when you think about something you really want to do, you associate it with punishment and unworthiness.
By being in this survival state, you let opportunities pass by:
“You don’t approach that cute girl.”
“You don’t execute on that million dollar idea.”
because you feel like claiming them only leads to failure and heartbreak.
Also, what happens with this is, that you feel more worried, adding more fuel to the fire of anxiety because you let opportunities slip by.
Worry is a search for security because the future doesn’t feel safe for you. You believe that the future can only create experiences like from your past. So you feel like a victim of life and prepare yourself for the doom.
Problems can never reveal solutions:
“We cannot solve a problem with the same thinking we used to create them.”
– Albert Einstein
You subconsciously believe that focusing and ruminating on the problem will somehow help you find a solution. It won’t.
Because you won’t be addressing the subconscious root of the problem but the conscious effect of how the problem manifests in your life.
But you spend all day chronically overthinking the problem, which only creates more stress and puts you in survival mode.
You can’t find a solution in survival mode because you are focused on survival, not finding a creative solution.
Since problems and solutions exist in different frequencies, you attract only more worry if you focus on worrisome experiences.
You worry not to worry when a trouble situation happens, but it never works that way. What you feel now is what you carry into the future.
By worrying all day, you are already living the worst-case scenario in your head. So, there is no good life that you are currently preserving by worrying.
A better option is letting go of control and a fixed troublesome outcome you have about the future and seeing what reality brings. Hint: It’s always never what you think it would be. You never know.
Living in uncertainty is better than living in certainty of a worst-case scenario.
Unlocking life:
Instead of constricting and overthinking about a problem, relax and zoom out. Infinite possibilities open up for you.
Ask yourself these questions to zoom out:
“what would my higher self do if he/she was faced with the same situation?”
“Will this problem even matter in a year?”
There are 1000s of potential solutions to a problem, even if the problem looks big and real.
It opens you up to make constructive decisions in the moment that improve your life, rather than worrying and preparing for a doomsday scenario.
You always have the free will to change your life direction by altering your perspective about a situation.
When you change direction and bring certainty, you can finally give up worrying and start living life happily in the only moment that exists – the present moment.
You will also most likely realize that you have been fooling yourself all the time.
Stop worrying and start living:
Now, let’s look into the 7 small shifts you can make to finally give up the chronic habit of worrying and live a good life.
1. Prepare a solution:
Jot down the worrisome situation you are desperately looking to avoid by ruminating in your mind. Map it out clearly.
Once you put into the paper, instead of thinking about the problem switch to think about the solutions.
Write down potential solutions to the problem. Even if you can’t find a solution immediately, give yourself 10 minutes every day to think and write the solutions.
Even this simple act of looking for solutions can free you from worrying as you realize there are potential solutions out there.
2. Act towards the solution:
Even if you are not so clear about the full package of a solution, act on the unclear step towards the solution. The solution will slowly open up to you.
It will greatly ease your worries as you feel more secure about the future.
3. Gratitude:
If you are worrying about your current life situation, deliberately focus on all the things you are grateful for in your life.
- Good water.
- A supportive family.
- A roof over your head.
There are people who are dealing with stuff much worse than you. Gain some perspective. Be grateful for what you have. This will ease your worries.
4. Ask deep questions:
In most cases, your worries might not even be real.
Instead of believing those thoughts fully, question them.
Ask yourself questions like:
“Is this situation really threatening?”
“Is worrying about this situation doing any good?”
“Is it very important that I focus on this situation now?”
“Are there chances that this situation might never happen?”
Don’t answer immediately. Breathe deeply and sit with the questions. Answers will come to your awareness.
These questions will take away the emergency that your mind creates about the situation and see the reality clearly for what it is. It breaks your worry pattern.
5. Become aware
You don’t have to force yourself to change how you think and feel to stop worrying.
Just becoming aware of your worrisome thoughts and feelings will open up space within you.
With practice, you will stop identifying with your worries.
6. Keep a never-happened-worry journal:
Keep a journal of all the things you worried about that never happened.
This will help you bring perspective that a thing or a situation you worry about might never happen and help you loosen up a bit.
7. Notice attraction patterns:
Take note when a thing that you thought about showed up in your reality, no matter how small you think the manifestation is.
Once you start to notice, you will see the patterns of how you attract your reality with your thoughts and feelings.
This gives you a sense of control that you create your reality and the world is trying to help you.
Practicing a few out of these 7 simple exercises will help you ease your worries and ground yourself in the present moment to create a more secure peaceful life.
P.S.
Struggling with overthinking, constant worry, and hopelessness?
My 1-1 guidance program helps you heal the root subconscious cause of your anxiety within 12 weeks, so you nurture a calm, peaceful mind and never fall back to old patterns again.
Book a no-pressure clarity call here to see if we are a fit to work together.
