Two people whom I thought were my close friends misused my kindness.
They called me only when they needed money. I lend them money coming from the perspective that they are my friends.
Then I saw this pattern repeat again and again: They would call me only when they needed help. Otherwise, they didn’t care what I was up to.
I lived in denial, telling myself all kinds of stories that they were not using me. But I felt disrespected and used.
There came a situation in my life when I needed help from them. So I asked for their help. They didn’t even pick up my phone.
This made me come face to face with the truth that they are not real friends and they just used me for money.
After that, when they made the call, I spoke to them directly about the situation. This broke our attachment.
I could have spoken the truth years ago and saved myself from so much pain and wasted time on bad friendships. But it’s all a learning curve.
Even though the truth was painful initially, it brought me inner peace, and I started focusing all my energy on building real relationships.
Before we dive into today’s letter:
I’m opening up 5 spots for April for my Modern Mystic guidance program.
It will help you cultivate a calm-quiet mind, free from overthinking and worries, and be at ease in social situations within 12 weeks. Book a clarity call inside here, and let’s see if I can help you.
NOTE: My 1-1 prices are jumping $500, but the first 2 people who enroll can still secure their spots for old pricing.
Ok now, let’s continue….
Bursting the bubble of relationships:
“Telling the truth and making someone cry is better than telling a lie to make someone laugh.”
– Paulo coelho
Currently, you might be lying to yourself about some people in your life who bring you anxiety and trouble.
You tell yourself lies like:
- They are so lovely
- Humans make mistakes, etc.
to keep the bubble of your relationships alive.
It’s because you are afraid to face the painful emotions that come with telling the truth.
But as long as you shy away from the truth, you just pile up anxiety and stress, pretending that everything is fine.
The patterns will get more and more painful over time until you finally surrender to the truth that the relationships were not working from the start and move on.
The denial of truth is why people get stuck in bad relationships and suffer.
For example, let’s say you were dating a man or a woman.
You saw a red flag of incompatibility in the first month of your relationship, but instead of expressing the truth, you pretended that you were a happy couple.
In the fifth year into your marriage and having a child, your incompatibility gets too big to compromise.
Now, there is a lot of pain and sacrifice that you have to go through if you want to end the relationship. You regret that you could have ended the relationship in the first month itself when you saw the red flag.
Seeing the truth when it’s small is 1000 times better than living in denial and finally having life force you to see the truth.
When you address the truth of the situation, either the relationship will get better, or you will realize it ended a long time ago and finally move on.
And the gold that you will receive from speaking your truth is that you will become socially free and attract real, intimate connections.
Society walking towards a cliff:
In the current day and age, society as a whole is blindfolded, walking towards a deadly cliff.
We deny many life-changing truths like:
- Loneliness is unhealthy.
- Suppressing emotions is the reason for most suffering.
- The corporate work environment is not suited for human well-being.
Living in denial with many of these truths is creating this mental health and relationship crisis all over the world.
Everybody is seeking temporary pleasures to escape the truth of their situation.
You have two options from here: You can live in denial of your pain and try to control people and situations to not burst your fantasy happiness bubble (OR) you can see the truth, make a different choice, and create a fulfilling life.
Watch this 18-minute training if you are tired of going through painful trail and error trying to heal your anxiety.
Creating your reality:
“The power of looking straight at reality and truth, no matter how painful it is, is that you can actually do something about what is.”
– Teal swan
You absolutely have the power to create a new reality filled with inner peace and joy.
But living in denial just further puts you off from living a good life. First, you must accept the truth about your current reality.
Here’s an example to help you understand this:
Let’s say you broke your leg and you are afraid of doctors(for some reason).
So you live in denial that your leg is working fine, and you drag yourself in pain, hurting more and more every day.
Finally, there comes a situation where you have to decide between losing your leg or finally accepting the truth that your leg needs to be fixed.
Once you accept the truth, you can work through and release your fear of doctors and ask for help.
Then you can reset the bone and finally start to walk effortlessly again.
That’s how powerful and relieving accepting the truth is, even if it is painful temporarily. You can make a different choice in life to create what you want.
This applies to all situations in life.
Embodying truth:
Here are 3 steps for you to embody truth and bring relief to your pain
Look into your suffering:
Explore the domain of life, whether it’s work, relationships, or self-esteem, that brings you the most anxiety.
There might be some truths in that domain you are afraid to look at.
If you feel(not think) that your life will be much better if you accept that truth and address it, then you have to accept it.
Feel the feelings:
Explore why you are afraid to express the truth.
What feelings are you avoiding? What consequences that your mind thinks will happen are you avoiding?
Don’t shy away from those painful feelings. Feel it fully, whether it’s feelings of loneliness, fear, shame etc,.
Feel it fully and grieve. Don’t judge yourself for your feelings.
When you allow yourself to feel, you will become free enough to express the truth and find solutions to the situation.
Address and change:
Now, you can finally express the truth and address the situation.
This might end the pattern for good, or you will find solutions with other people involved in the situation.
Now, you are free to choose a new, healthy timeline:
It might look like:
- finding a new home and living alone.
- finding a new job.
- taking risks on that business.
When you do that, you will enter a new reality that aligns very much with your true self.
Hope you enjoyed this read.
Thank you
Pranav
P.S.
I’m opening up 5 spots for April for my Modern Mystic guidance program.
It will help you cultivate a calm-quiet mind, free from overthinking and worries, and be at ease in social situations within 12 weeks. Book a clarity call inside here, and let’s see if I can help you.
NOTE: My 1-1 prices are jumping $500, but the first 2 enrollers can still secure their spots for old pricing.
