6 years ago I had the identity of a coping introvert.
I was alone and lost in my worrisome thoughts most of the time.
I didn’t open my mouth to connect with people because I was afraid of getting judged.
I was meditating at that point but I felt like it only made the situation worse, which I now know is utterly wrong.
I went through a really dark period which completely destroyed that fake identity I was carrying.
My mind became too overwhelming to control and it completely started running the show.
I only felt peace when I slept and quiet my mind.
It slowly birthed my real identity of natural extroversion which I was hiding away to protect myself from people.
I think that is what most people are afraid of – the temporary dark period.
The period where caterpillars are inside their dark cocoons still and haven’t transformed fully into butterflies.
The fear of the cocoon makes people stuck playing the caterpillar role all their life.
- not taking any risks to follow their passions that frees them.
- not going on that adventure their soul craves.
- not asking out that girl they like.
It’s a miserable life to live. But people cope out with porn, drugs and other addictions.
I’m assuming that you don’t want to live this life.
I feel that you want to do whatever you feel like doing in places with people who you love the most.
That’s why learning how to shift your identity is so so important.
What is identity shifting?
Identity shifting is not
- changing to a new character.
- fake it till you make it or anything like that.
Real Identity shifting is “reconnecting with your true self by shedding your fake identity you currently carry that once protected you as a child but now limiting your potential.”
Shortly, it’s removing masks and embodying the innocent, free and creative kid you once were.
I’m sharing the process I went through to shift my identity and find my real self.
Which helps me
- stop playing draining roles to please people.
- flow towards my goals without much mental friction.
- stay fulfilled and at peace in the present.
- connect with people on a deeper level.
Let’s map this out together.
This is your Hero’s journey:
Your identity change is a hero’s journey.
You have to leave the ordinary world. Enter your inner world and face your biggest fears.
There will be challenges, ups and downs in your journey to uncover your real self.
You will reach a point where you feel like giving up.
But that’s when, you will be able to peek behind the curtains to see glimpses of your true self.
It will inspire you to keep going dissolving parts of your old identity step by step.
Finally, you will embody the treasure (real self), come to the ordinary world with your gifts.
Your life will not be the same again.
You will have purposes that you feel the pull towards.
And in this one big adventure, you will leave the impact in the world that you are meant to leave.
Let’s make this hero’s journey practical for you.
It all starts with accepting your current story:
I tried affirmations and changing my negative thoughts for a year before I uncovered the real work to identity change.
I was fighting against myself. My subconscious beliefs and traumas.
I saw my victim self as something to suppress and throw away, rather than work with.
Fighting my thoughts went miserable for me. My thoughts took over my day life.
Only relief I felt was while sleeping.
One fine day, I was tired of fighting so I gave in and accept my thoughts.
It brought insane relief to me on that day itself. Like removing a tight shoe after wearing it all my life.
You can do this for yourself.
- See where you are fighting your thoughts.
- Accept those thoughts and let it take over.
By doing so, you open yourself up to all the things you’re hiding away from.
Cry if you have to. Worry if you have to.
You will realize having negative thoughts and feelings are not that bad.
They are just sensations that arise inside you. They are not your real self.
Practice this in your meditation.
Accepting your current miserable self is the first step in identity change.
You can’t heal a wound by distracting and telling yourself that the wound doesn’t exist.
Go beyond identity: The observer
True meditation is observation.
Observing your mental patterns and knowing that it’s not you.
It helps you get in touch with the real you, the one who observes everything – all your thoughts, feelings and judgments.
Your real self has no name. no age. no religion. no gender. You can’t even put it into words.
It will be hard to observe your egoic self at first. You will get lost in it often.
It’s okay. It’s part of the process.
You’re like a Gold fish stuck in a fish tank. You cannot outgrow the tank you’re in, which is your current identity.
It’s your work to reveal to yourself, the ever expansive ocean – your true identity, the observer.
So you can break free from your tank and reach your fullest potential.
The more you observe, the more the observer expands.
It’s from that place you discover presence, Inner peace and purpose.
Deconstruct your shadow:
Your shadow is your lower self.
All the hard feelings and traumas you suppressed during childhood.
Because it was too overwhelming for you as a child. It’s a good thing.
But it messes with your head and runs the show subconsciously by making decisions for you that keeps you safe mentally as you grow old.
It is your identity. You still are the afraid child that’s running away from your core problems.
You run away with addictions. Addictions to food, porn, drugs and what not.
For example:
You want to start a business but feel like its too risky.
It’s because you allow your limiting belief(shadow) from your childhood to keep you safe.
You can dive deep into these subconscious shadow aspects and heal it with these processes.
- Trail of why’s?
- Shadow questions
- Facing fear.
let’s explore the unknown for a bit..
1. Trail of whys?
You need to observe yourself closely.
Ask “why!” when your mind says a limiting thing.
Be open for answers. Don’t close off its like nothing, you will go beyond the surface.
It will reveal a much deeper cause. Ask more whys.
Eventually the true cause will reveal itself to you.
You can now let go of those shadow aspects by letting yourself feel the emotions related to the true cause fully.
2. Shadow questions
Shadow questions are questions that you ask yourself that are consciously not true.
But to see if some subconscious parts of you resonate with it.
It’s questions like “why do I hate myself?”
Consciously you can say “no I don’t”. But be open and see if some parts inside you resonate with it.
If it does, you can dive deep into it by asking yourself more “whys!” and uncover the root cause.
3. Facing FEAR:
This is more of a direct action based approach.
There are things you might be putting away like
- approaching women.
- starting that business.
- having that hard conversation.
but you know, you need to do it to level up in your life.
Do it. Not to get result but to uncover those shadow aspects that you’ve suppressed unconsciously.
This will birth mental chaos. That is the exact time to relax, feel it fully and let go of the pattern.
When you practice facing FEAR often, you will uncover those hard darkened stuff fast and it accelerates your growth.
Let go and birth your true identity:
Your true identity is the boundless observer.
You have to make that observer natural to you by letting go of everything standing in your way.
Letting go is simple but not easy.
This is the process involved in letting go.
When those triggers pops up, you need to give yourself space to accept and feel those emotions fully.
You should never force things to go, which means you are not fully allowing those hard emotions to pass.
Let things take its natural course. Like a tree blossoming out of a small plant.
As you go through this process, your mind becomes clearer and clearer.
You will reach a state where presence becomes a part of your life.
Experiment with new stuff: Zone of action
This process makes your old life, a distant memory with no attachment.
You will feel pulled to try new things. Try it.
You will get obsessed over stuff which opens you up to a new dimension of living.
You can help people get solutions to some problems in their life by following your obsession. Build a business out of it.
Post content and grow a following.
Help people for free when starting out.
Make a living out of what you love doing with practical experience that comes from working for free.
Once you get over that phase, you will find new curiosities. Follow it.
This will eventually lead to your biggest vision in life.
All comes down to clearing your mental clutter(noise) and listening to the signal(intuition).
If you’re already working towards your vision by building a business online and good at landing clients, you can scale your business to free your time creating massive impact and abundance with “Abundance Engines”. See if we are a fit here.
Now lets get back on track to the next step.
Stack wins: Journey is the destination
Celebrate all wins even if your mind say its too small.
When you feel like stressing out over the destination, come back to the presence(your real self).
Know that presence is all there is, and it will reveal miracles that seems too outlandish to your logical mind when you embody it.
God’s plans for your life is so profound than anything you can imagine. Trust in it.
Act on the signals that come along your journey.
Key takeaways:
- Identity change is not changing yourself to a new version, but uncovering your real self.
- You just need to accept problems that are pleading for your attention.
- Let go of the problems by simply feeling all the associated emotions.
- God’s plan for your life is bigger than anything you can imagine.
- Your journey is the destination.
Aligning with your true self is what will help you flow towards your dreams fast and effortless. Looking forward to your journey.